Best of Late Night
“All this time we’ve been listening to the C.D.C., we should have been eating CBD,” Kimmel said of research showing that cannabis compounds can prevent Covid-19.
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In a new study, researchers found that cannabis compounds can prevent Covid-19 from penetrating human cells.
Jimmy Kimmel shared the news on Wednesday night, joking that cannabis compounds are “also what Willie Nelson calls his house.”
“This would be interesting. All this time we’ve been listening to the C.D.C., we should have been eating CBD.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You know, it’s funny — all these crazy cures, I’m like ‘Oh, that’s ridiculous.’ Ivermectin, the horse dewormer; bleach. And then somebody says marijuana prevents Covid, I’m like ‘Oh, really? Do tell.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Great news for all the teenagers whose parents find weed in their room: ‘Oh, Mom, I see you found the Covid-stopping compounds that I hid in my sock drawer. Those aren’t mine. no, no. Those aren’t mine. I’m just holding them for my friend, Tony Fauci.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“In other words, the pot enters the body and asks Covid, ‘Are you a cell? You have to tell me if you’re a cell.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, if you’re skeptical about the science here, let me remind you, this study has been reviewed by the C.D.C.’s stoner nephew the THC.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, technically, these are compounds that have to be extracted from the plant and not smoked. But there’s anecdotal support for the Covid-fighting properties of weed itself, because as of today — and this is true — three people who have yet to get Covid are Seth Rogen, Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg. That’s why Snoop’s teaming up again with trusted epidemiologist Dr. Dre for their new album, ‘The Omichronic.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“We have some good news from a source not known for it: Florida.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Speaking of Covid tests, the state of Florida let a million Covid tests expire in a warehouse, but now the F.D.A. has decided to extend the expiration dates. When they heard that, every New York hot dog vendor was like, ‘Is that really safe to do that?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Nothing good ever happens in a Florida warehouse, unless you placed your bets on the right coked-up snapping turtle.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Yeah, the F.D.A. just extended the expiration dates. When they heard that, the C.D.C. said, ‘Hey, making up rules as you go is our thing.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“This is great for folks down in Florida who need tests, but even better for me, because the F.D.A. is finally confirming what I’ve known for years: Expiration dates are a myth, a mere suggestion.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Meanwhile, Florida was like, ‘You can put any date on them if you want, we’re still not going to use them. We don’t care.’” — JIMMY FALLON
Jimmy Fallon challenged two “Tonight Show” audience members to create new original songs about being scared of a Roomba and buying an off-brand rapid Covid test.
Fortune Feimster, a comedian and actor, will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Jonny Greenwood was first famous for playing lead guitar in Radiohead, but he is now gaining recognition for his scores in films like “The Power of the Dog” and “Spencer.”